


We've Still Got Tonight

by rarelypoetic



Category: Lovely Little Losers
Genre: Boys In Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, basically just them talking about shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 01:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5145221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarelypoetic/pseuds/rarelypoetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Balthazar and Peter are studying together after "Stay" when Peter finally works up the courage to ask Balthazar out again. Balthazar misinterprets his offer. Finally, they take the time to set things straight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We've Still Got Tonight

The fact of the matter was that Peter didn’t like Balthazar nearly as much as Balthazar liked him. Balthazar was sure of it. Peter’s idea of ‘potential’ couldn’t measure up to 6 years worth of pining.

Balthazar says as much to Ursula, who seems to be the closest thing he has to an objective party in this situation. Ursula had told him that the only thing Balthazar could do is talk to Peter and find out what he was really feeling. But Balthazar is sure that that is a pointless endeavor. Even if it turns out that Peter does have feelings for him, it would be pointless. They couldn’t be together while they were still living at the flat, and Balth does have the means or the will to move out. Ben and Freddie are still his friends, after all.

Balthazar keeps quiet for a full week after they film “Stay.” He still talks to Pete, of course - it’s kind of hard to avoid doing so when sharing the same living space - but they never have anything even approaching a productive conversation. The closest they come to talking about it is when Pete grumbles that it’s unfair that Bea and Ben get to act so gross around each other all of the time when certain _other_ people got punished for something that hadn’t even technically happened. Balth makes a swift and unobtrusive exit after that particular comment, and Pete never brings it up again.

Despite their unspoken agreement to not talk about it, there is a considerable amount of tension between them. Balthazar can hardly be in the same room with Pete without feeling like he’s being watched. Sometimes the weight of Pete’s gaze is like an invisible weight on his chest. He makes no mention of it, of course. But it’s there nonetheless.

It’s even here now, with the two of them sitting in the small kitchenette, work books sprawled out across the table surface, elbows nearly touching with their proximity. Balthazar keeps his gaze fixed firmly on the paper in front of him, though he hasn’t written anything on it in at least a half hour. In general, he’s not very good at writing things down that aren’t song lyrics, but it’s especially hard when he can hear Pete breathing beside him and see him turn his head to stare at him every few minutes out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey, um,” Peter starts, “I was thinking we could go out to see a film later tonight. Or something.”

“I have this thing to do,” Balthazar deflects, gesturing to his mostly blank paper. “It’s probably going to take a while. Maybe another time?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Peter agrees, somewhat hesitantly. Both of them remain quiet for a full minute before Peter coughs and turns to fully face him. “Listen, I’m sorry if I did something to upset you, but can we try to move past it?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Balthazar shrugs and steadfastly does not look at Peter.

“Please, Balth. I don’t like feeling like there’s something weird between us.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“But you do!” Peter erupts. He swallows and looks down guiltily for a moment before continuing, “You do know. You feel it too, the-- the weirdness. I know you do. I just want things to go back to how they were.”

Balthazar thinks quietly that Pete should have thought about that before he told him he had _potential_ , but instead he shrugs again. “Is this about going out tonight? Because I told you, I’m busy.”

Peter lets out a huge sigh and crosses his arms. “No, Balth. It’s not about tonight. It’s about every night for the past week. I’m sorry for trying to... to kiss you. I get that you weren’t into it. It won’t happen again, if that’s what you’re worried about. I promise.”

Balthazar can’t help it, then; the past several days of interrupted tension burst all at once, and his composure with it. He starts laughing, and then finds he can’t quite stop. Peter looks utterly baffled.

“Are you really going to play that card?” Balthazar finally manages to get out between snorts.

 “I don’t know what you mean,” Pete admits.

Balthazar meets Peter’s gaze directly for the first time and slowly repeats Peter’s words: “‘I get that you weren’t into it.’’” He raises his eyebrows significantly.

Pete fixes him with a blank stare. He can’t possibly be this oblivious, can he? Balthazar is sure he can’t. It’d be absolutely outrageous for him not to know. But then again... it wouldn’t be the first time Peter was unintentionally obtuse about something. Balthazar tucks his hands into his sleeves and shrinks back into his gray knit jumper as much as he possibly can.

“You don’t know?” Balthazar asks, just to make sure. Pete shakes his head. Balth takes a breath and lets it out, says quietly, “I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?” Pete asks, genuinely perplexed.

“How I feel about you. How I’ve felt since year nine.”

Pete visibly swallows. “Year nine? I thought-- I mean, I had an inkling that maybe you were interested in me after hearing those lyrics, but I didn’t...”

Balthazar chokes on a self-deprecating laugh. “I thought for sure you’d know after I sung ‘An Ode,’ but when it didn’t seem like you caught on I thought maybe you were just uncomfortable because you didn’t feel the same way.”

Peter looks stricken and far away for a moment, like he’s reliving the past several years in detail.  
“I’ve been an idiot,” he says.

Balthazar shrugs. “Nah, nah, it’s-- it’s water under the bridge, Pete, seriously. Forget about it.”

“I don’t want to,” Pete bursts out. Even he looks surprised at himself. After a moment of surprised silence, he squares his shoulders and continues. “What I said while we were filming was stupid. It came out wrong. I was just so nervous, and when you looked at me everything I had planned to say to you just vanished. What I meant to tell you is that I want to be with you. _You_. Not just someone.”

Balthazar swallows and gestures vaguely between them, half bewildered-looking and half terrified. “So you...?”

“Yes,” Peter answers immediately.

“You didn’t let me finish,” Balthazar points out.

“Sorry.”

“You like me?” Balth looks almost like a little kid as he asks it, all wide eyes and tentative smile.

“I more than like you. I...” Peter waves his hands helpless, flustered. “God, look at me, I’m a mess. I can’t even--”

 Balthazar cuts him off by essentially sitting in his lap. At first this makes Peter turn into even more of a wreck. On top of the stuttering and uncoordinated hand movements, he turns an unflattering shade of pink and finds himself short of breath. But then Balth puts one hand on his chest and the other on his cheek, just cupping it slightly, and Peter goes limp. All of the air leaves him in one weary exhale.

Balthazar is warm and solid and nudging his head into the crook of Peter’s neck. He presses a smile into the thin skin there, and Peter finds his own hand moving to rest on Balth’s lower back without his conscious permission.

“You don’t have to say it yet,” Balthazar mutters. “I never thought we’d even get here in the first place. This is enough for now.”

“No.” Peter guides Balthazar’s face away from his shoulder so that they’re looking directly at each other. Balthazar smiles at him, just the tiniest, mildest smile - his trademark - but his eyes completely warm up with it. His nose even scrunches up a little like it only does when he’s really, truly happy about something. Peter smiles in return, helpless to do anything else. Suddenly, it feels much easier for the words to come. “I love you. Okay?” He swallows. Reorients himself. “You deserve to hear it.”

This time when they both lean in, Balthazar doesn’t pull away at the last second. This time, Peter kisses Balthazar and feels every bad thing about the past few months wash away like the tide coming in after a terrible storm. They kiss softly at first, with the kind of caution that can only really be afforded to first kisses with the people you love, but their mouths soon yield to fervor. They kiss, and they kiss, and they kiss, and Peter feels a jagged piece inside of him slot back into place.

When they pull apart, Peter is flushed in the best way possible. Every inch of him is warmed. Only when he looks away from Balthazar for a moment and realizes where he still is does that feeling abate slightly.

“What are we going to do about the flat?” he asks quietly. What he really means is: what will Freddie think? What will Ben do?

Balthazar shrugs and says, “No secrets. We’ll tell them tomorrow, and whatever punishment they dole out, we’ll face it together. Deal?”

“Deal,” Peter agrees. Then, because he can, he says, “I love you,” again, without reservation this time, and kisses Balth’s nose for good measure.

Balthazar’s eyes crinkle with the depth of his smile. He knocks their forehead together gently and replies, “Me too. I love you,” like there was never any cause for doubt in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> Because I love this little webseries and because we need more Lolilo fic immediately. Also I'm ridiculously fond of Peter and Balth as distinct charaters, but that's a discussion for another time...
> 
> follow me @angel-balth.tumblr.com if you wanna cry with me.
> 
> (title taken from Reuben Hudson's "Sixteen." Check out his work, guys!!!)


End file.
